joannsblog2016

Broken and shattered – reshaped in goodness

You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shade of the Almighty, say to the Lord, “My refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

Does your life feel broken and shattered or may be it has at some point in your life? Perhaps, you have a close friend or family member who feels broken and shattered?

It so easy to tell you there is hope. All you have to do is trust God and He will make everything new, that His goodness will prevail. Instead of spending one minute telling you this, I would like to share a little piece of my story that reveals this hope, this newness that comes from trusting God.

I recently took a road trip with my daughters. I find road trips can be very awesome times with God, especially when everyone in the car is sleeping. As I was driving along the uninteresting interstate, I found myself reflecting on my life as my playlist was rolling through. As some of the older songs in my playlist were playing, I began to reflect on a few significant moments in my life. I tend to like these moments of reflection on my past because they reveal how far God has carried me and how far I have grown in my faith through my past. In some cases, it helps me to move another step forward.

As the song by Matt Maher, “Lord I need you,” began to play, my mind became very vivid reflecting on the very day I first heard this song. This day would be one of the most difficult days in my adult life as I was driving to see my counselor with my daughters to tell them that their daddy and I would no longer be together. I had made a decision that would change their lives forever. My heart was broken and my life seemed to be shattered as I heard the song playing in my car that day.

When the song came on, tears just streamed from my eyes. In that moment, I really needed God to be with me. I needed Him to guide my heart so that I would not fall apart. I was so broken during this period of time that falling apart seemed so easy. This would be one of the many moments during my journey where God revealed His presence to me, giving me strength that I would need. He knew I needed Him at that moment in the car and there is no coincidence this song came on. He wanted me to know that I needed Him to get through this and that He was holding my hand.

This wasn’t the only song that sparked reflection for me on my road trip. A little further down my playlist was a song by Danny Gokey, “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again.” As a dear friend recently reminded me, this song also speak volumes to my story. One of the hardest things I think I have had to do during my healing is to forgive myself and to love myself. God taught me a lot about myself and He began to lead me down a path of healing as He began to mold the shattered pieces and glue my brokenness. Sometimes I still see the scars and the broken path and I’m reminded where I have been. This is who I use to be and it has been through the loving hands of God that I was carried through to the person I am today. I no longer “live there anymore.” It was His grace and companionship in this journey with me that helped me to persevere.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my adult life is that sometimes we shatter. It’s in the shattered pieces that God reshapes our lives into something new and good. It’s not easy being reshaped but it’s essential and possible. It is made possible through trust, trusting God with the shattered pieces.

If you are feeling broken and shattered or someone you know is, surrender your brokenness, the shattered pieces, to God. Allow Him to reshape you into the one He created you to be.

Beauty – hidden within

Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

What comes to mind when you think something is beautiful? What are the aesthetic qualities that define beauty to you? What do you think God’s definition of beauty is?

There is external beauty and there is internal beauty. The world teaches us that external beauty is prominent. We see this in everything – from material things to the runway. Our society thrives on beauty. It is in one’s desire for beauty, for ornate things, that floods the financial market of commercialism. Many of us want more or do more to beautify our outer appearance, our homes, our mode of transportation, the list goes on.

What is true beauty?

What does the beauty of the soul look like?

beautiful bloom blooming blossom — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In 1 Peter 3:3-4, God sees us not as an external adornment, with beautiful hair, fine jewelry and clothing, but He sees the internal character of each of us, hidden in our heart. The beauty He sees is that “of a gentle and calm disposition.” We are “precious in the sight of God.” We are “more precious than corals.” (Proverbs 3:15)

My daughter may define this as those people who are simply not fake. I personally define it as those who are genuine in kindness, gentleness and love, in essence – “not fake.”

The beauty of a woman, unlike the beauty of nature, is not revealed through her outward appearance. She is made beautiful through her very essence of her character. It is how she carries her crosses, how she responds to those in need, how she humbles herself, how she pours out into another with love and kindness, how she comforts another. Her beauty is how she clothes herself internally verses externally.

This weekend, I had the greatest pleasure of being a part of an amazing retreat experience with almost 100 women. It is amazing to see the beauty of God transform a person throughout a retreat weekend. It is even more amazing to see the beauty of a team going above and beyond, serving and using their gifts to pour out the love of God through the power of the Holy Spirit into each person as if they were the only soul at the retreat.

I personally have struggled through the years in my life with outward beauty. Always trying to achieve what I thought others saw as beauty. What I have learned, through the definition of beauty defined by God and the retreat, is that my smile coupled with serving others with the gifts God has given me defines my beauty, inwardly and outwardly. These two things pour out God’s love that is embedded within me and this love is the true beauty. My love revealed through outward actions is the internal character hidden within my heart. My smile is the adornment on the outside that is the inward joy as a result of my faith and trust in a God that will always deliver His goodness no matter the trial or circumstance.

Because the world tells us that beauty is defined by external adornment, we spend a lot of time, money and energy to fulfill this form of beauty. When we feel we do not measure up to this form of beauty, we feel ugly, unworthy and not valued. This is the lie that we are told and we believe.

The true beauty is planted within and is waiting to sprout out through your outpouring onto others. It is through your faith and love of God that reveals your true beauty, clothing you in His majestic beauty.

I invite you to think about your inward beauty. Is this the beauty you are revealing to the world externally? Let the world see your true beauty, the beauty hidden within that is waiting to sprout outwardly.

Lenten journey

In a few weeks Lent will begin. It is a time of reflecting in the darkness. Its a journey being transformed through the light by the death and resurrection of Christ which brings new life to each of us. For several years, I taught kindergarten faith formation. I have to say although chaotic at times, it is one of my favorite groups to teach. Their little minds are easily fascinated and soak in everything you teach them. One of my favorite lessons was teaching about Lent with the analogy of the butterfly.

Dear friends, there is a butterfly in each of us waiting to be transformed in beauty, and released from the captivity of the cocoon.

Our sin is the cocoon that traps us within. It is the blanket of death in spirit that wraps us tightly, imprisoning us from life, joy and happiness.

During Lent, we reflect on these things that separate us from God, the sin that kills our soul, entrapping our spirit. Through the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we are cleansed, set free from the chains that tie us down. The beauty within, the butterfly, emerges revealing the new life of joy. At this point in our journey, we reach a peak moment on the mountain of our faith and are closer to God than any other moment in that season of our journey.

I think the beauty is that each liturgical year, we are able to go through this process of transformation, of growing closer to God, unlike the butterfly who only goes through it once.

Think about Lent as the season of the cocoon. The season leading up to Lent is a season of gluttony. During Lent, we begin to look within and abstain from those things that we have indulged in, particularly our sin. During Holy Week, at Easter we see the transformation, the great release of our spirit, freely embracing our faith and the love God pours out for each of us. This is the height of the season, the Agape of love that covers us, lightening our load on our journey to strengthen us for the new road ahead.

This Lent, I invite you to look at it as a journey of reflection, release and transformation. Receive the ultimate sacrifice and love as if it were the first time you went through this season, as if you had never heard the Passion of Christ. Embrace it and be strengthen and fed for the journey that lies before you.

Value of a penny

“The love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” Romans 5:5

Did you pour out your heart to your Valentine Thursday? Perhaps you showered them with flowers, their favorite chocolate or a romantic dinner.

February is the month of love. Love is something we should celebrate. Love comes in so many different packages. It can be a romantic love with a significant other, the love for a child, the love for a parent, love for a friend, etc. The form of LOVE I want to talk about is the LOVE that pours out on to each of us that is unconditional. It is a love with no restrictions.

This love can only come from one source, God through the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT.

I was listening to a talk by a priest earlier on this very topic. He read a letter he received from a young lady who had felt she was incapable of being loved by God. In this note, she discovers God’s unconditional love in a penny.

What she says is that no matter how dirty or beaten up a penny gets, it’s worth is still the same. There are shiny pennies and there are black dirty pennies. The shiny pennies don’t go through all the stuff the black dirty pennies go through yet their VALUE, their WORTH are the same.

money coins currency savings — Photo by Jeff Weese on Pexels.com

I really thought this was a very powerful analogy of the unconditional love God has for each of us. No matter how beaten we are, how dirty we are, how sinful we are, God values us, desires us and most of all loves us just the same. He wants to pick us up, dust off all the dirt, and smooth all the rough edges so that we can see His light shine and reflect from us.

Whether you are the shiny penny or the dirty, beaten penny, God wants you to know He loves you. If you celebrated Valentines day or you love a family or friend, you experience this love “because He first loved [you],” 1 John 4:19.

If you feel incapable of God’s love because of your past, because of your sins, remember the dirty penny – it doesn’t lose it’s VALUE, no matter how beaten, run over, stepped on or dirty. Jesus carried your crosses over 2000 years ago to demonstrate this phenomenal love and God is breathing in love through the Holy Spirit everyday with every breath of life you take. When you need to feel the love of God, pause, close your eyes, take a deep breath in and imagine Jesus before you carrying the cross, beaten and bruised, whispering God’s very love for you.

Crazy in love…with Jesus!

“Crazy in love with Jesus!”

“Crazy in love with Jesus,” a message one of my awesome sister’s in Christ sent me. I think that’s the best crazy comment I have ever received. If I’m going to be called crazy, YEP, I want to be CRAZY in LOVE with JESUS.

What about you? Are you CRAZY IN LOVE WITH JESUS?

I can’t think of any better Valentine than Jesus. I can’t think of anyone who has ever loved me more.

When I think about His love, I know I am precious in His eyes. He desires my heart completely and pours out His love, compassion, mercy and protection daily just for me. He thinks I’m perfect just the way I am, with all my flaws and blemishes. I am valued more than gold and jewels. I am beautiful to Him, a perfect flower, created just for Him. How could I not give my heart completely to Him?

red heart on a old opened book ii — Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

Ironically Valentine’s day is the feast day of St. Valentine who was brutally beaten to death for defying the Roman Emperor by marrying couples. Interesting that the day we celebrate love around the world is a feast day of a saint who was martyred in the name of love. Similar to the story of my Valentine, Jesus, who was brutally beaten and crucified out of love for me and for you. It’s His love I want to receive this Valentine’s day. Because God is present in all things in my life, I receive this love in scripture, in my children, my friends and family, in nature – breathing in the fresh air and observing the birds of the air.

God has promised me a greater love story in my life. The only thing He asks of me is to allow Him to fill every crevice of my heart, for me to “be satisfied” in Him. This Valentine’s day, I am giving Him my heart, the ultimate Valentine card and my time will be spent adoring Him, soaking in His very presence.

As you peer into the eyes of your loved one on Valentine’s Day, remember that each of us reflect the love of Christ. Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you and may you each be filled with the love of your HEAVENLY FATHER and be embraced in the arms of JESUS.

The next time you think of CRAZY, ask yourself am I CRAZY IN LOVE WITH JESUS? If your answer is YES, then you are right on target with the best kind of crazy.

Broken and glued…

Whatever villages or towns or countryside he entered, they laid the sick in the marketplaces and begged him that they might touch only the tassel on his cloak and as many as touched it were healed. Mark 6:55-56

Have you ever felt broken? Or perhaps even damaged goods? Something or someone hurt you in a way that you feel has impacted you in some way? It can be something that happened 20 or 30 years ago, that is still affecting a small part of who you are today.

There’s hope!

I was reading the Gospel reading this morning from Mark 6:53-56. Wherever Jesus was, people were desperate for healing and wanted so bad to just touch the tassel of His cloak because they knew that they would be healed. When Jesus walked the earth in human flesh, people saw the miracles of healing. Today, many lose hope because sometimes these miracles aren’t as apparent.

Is it their faith that is being tested or is it that they completely lack faith?

We are each in different places in our spiritual journey and I firmly believe that God meets each of us wherever we are. I also believe He brings people in our lives and that Jesus is alive in each of us. Through us, through our actions and our prayers, He delivers healing power. Many times, it’s subtle and takes time. In some cases, we may not see the healing we are expecting, especially when the underlying healing is within the person’s soul. When it comes to spiritual brokenness, matters of the heart and the mind, it is our brothers and sisters and our relationship with Christ, our prayer, our openness to see and feel His healing power sweep through us that repairs that brokenness, preparing us for something much greater.

There have been many moments where I have felt I was too broken from things in my past, that I was damaged goods and could not move on when it comes to matters of the heart. Over the last several years, I have surrounded myself with wise, spiritual sisters and brothers. They have helped me to grow in my spiritual life and to see beyond my pain. They have showed me how much life God brings amid the suffering. Most of all they have helped me to see God’s promise of love, His love letter to me. The weeds in my garden were there for a reason. Although they needed to be pruned, they served a purpose. Their purpose was not to keep me in the brokenness of my life but to move me beyond it. They were there to show me how to embrace life, a life full of beauty, full of life giving flowers. Although there are moments I still go back to my past and begin to weep for that woman that endured the heartache, I draw back to the present and rejoice with the woman that is thankful for God for all the brokenness throughout her life. It is in my pain and suffering throughout my life that I have flourished into the beautiful flower that God has created me to be. It is in His promises that I look forward to life from this present moment. My heart has found a new purpose and it has been repaired through the healing power of my savior. Although I have not touched the tassel from His cloak, I have received Him – body, blood, soul and divinity.

My dear friends, we need to “be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)”. The enemy is looking for opportunities to knock us down and keep us down. This is what happens when we feel broken and damaged. I love the image of a piece of pottery that has been broken in pieces and then glued back together and repurposed for something even greater. This is how we defeat the enemy. We allow ourselves to be glued back together through the gifts of our faith and the gifts of each other.

If you are that person who feels broken or damaged, I invite you to find a sister or brother grounded in their faith to talk to, to bring the healing power of Christ to you. If you are not that person feeling broken or damaged, I invite you to look around you, there is someone who needs you to bring Christ’s healing power to them. Let them touch the tassel of your heart with their story so that you can be Christ like to them.

Life’s greatest sustenance

What sustains you in life, through your struggles, illness, pain? How do you find peace in knowing this life is not permanent?

Today, as I sat in the infusion room waiting for my IV of ferritin, I peered around the room. Surrounded by patients receiving treatment for cancer or other disorders, my heart poured out to these men and women. I visit this room twice every two years and the sadness I feel is always the same, yet part of me finds thanksgiving for the many blessings in my own life, especially my own hardships and struggles. Perhaps a bit of guilt sweeps over me knowing I’m only here to treat one of the two forms of anemia I battle that mainly results in exhaustion and tiredness with occasional feelings of faintness.

My disorder is mild and manageable in my daily life. As I think about these patients and how many or all are fighting for their life, I ponder my own peace and life sustainability. Often I’ve thought about facing the last moments of my life when that time comes – will I be afraid or at peace. Over the past few years when I contemplate this, I feel at peace knowing where I am in my faith journey and that because of it when that day comes I am on my way to a place that is beyond my own imagination. I love this simple quote by Pope Pius X. It’s simple yet it speaks volumes.

“Holy Communion is the shortest and safest way to Heaven”.

We can look at this quote from two perspectives.

Receiving the Eucharist is like Heaven on earth. One may ask WHY? After receiving the Eucharist, we truly walk with Jesus within us. He can only take that place if we are in the state of Grace, meaning our souls are clean and welcome to receiving Him. Isn’t that what Heaven will be like? A state of grace walking with Jesus….
The second perspective is that if we are receiving Jesus then hopefully we are also following Him and striving for holiness as God desires us to. In this case, it also is the shortest path to Heaven because it leads us straight there.

The Eucharist is the center of my faith and my journey and it is in the Body and the Blood of Christ that I am strengthened and sustained in all life throws at me. Some may not truly understand what is contained in this bread and wine present in a Catholic Mass. If not, I challenge you to watch the link below on the miracle of the Eucharist at Buenos Aires. May your eyes and your heart be open to Jesus’ true presence in the Eucharist. Blessings to each of you!