Journey through the desert

Take a journey with me. Let’s walk along a path that seems to have no foot steps in front of us. Perhaps there have never been any or perhaps they have been covered up by the sands.

There is nothing living among the path we walk, everything appears to lack life. As we walk, let’s look at the moments in our journey that did not bring life into us. Look at them closely. Is there anything you can learn from those moments that will breathe life in you today? Something present that will help you with a trial, tribulation or a feeling of unrest?

Walk along this desert floor and feel the heat of each of these moments. Feel the dryness of your faith. Do you thirst for God as you trodden this warm, sand filled land? Do you see a mirage of your Heavenly Father before you inviting you to sift through the sands of the desert in your life, to draw closer to Him by offering these feelings to Him, bringing life upon you? Or do you see a mirage of something that isn’t from God, tempting you to turn back and dwell in the journey behind you suffering death within, clouding your vision to move forward – to see God in the moments of hurt and pain? Which mirage will you turn to? Which one draws you near?

You continue to walk along this journey and notice above your head there appears to be a dove. He flys just in front of you. You have to glance upward to see him. You wonder what is a dove doing in the middle of the desert. Yet you feel an exuberant amount of peace. Could it be the dove’s presence? Can you feel his guidance along your path? Follow him. See where he takes you.

It looks like he is guiding you to a spring ahead? It appears to be a spring of life giving water. Is it another mirage tempting you? Or is it a spring from your Heavenly Father inviting you to dive in His love, accept the grace He has given you? Will you drink from it? Will you dive in? Or will you pass it by because your vision is cloudy and the reality of the spring has been covered up by your conscience?

adventure alone arid barren
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It is your choice to drink from the spring of life to come to the table and receive the Eucharist, the life giving body and blood of Christ. It is your choice to dive into the moments of desolation, the moments when God feels distant and search for His presence, His invitation. It is your choice to allow Him to bring life into your being or remain in the desert of death. Which choice will you make today? God will draw close to you in the desert filling you with a spring of life.

Are you the hemorrhaging woman?

“And a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years, who [had spent her whole livelihood on doctors and] was unable to be cured by anyone, came up behind him and touched the tassel on his cloak.  Immediately her bleeding stopped.”  Luke 8:43-44

Do you sometimes feel like the hemorrhaging woman?  Have you been afflicted with uncontrollable loss?  Has one trial after another poured out upon you and you feel that you cannot go on?  Has a relationship in your life drained the life out of you?

How often do you feel overwhelmed with affliction and pain, leaving you depleted of life?  Do you think this is what God wants in your life?

Did the ‘hemorrhaging woman’ touch Jesus’ tassel on His cloak out of lack of options or did she touch it because she believed in Jesus and his ability to heal?  In Luke, chapter 8, Jesus tells us that it was her FAITH that saved her.  Her FAITH!  She didn’t touch it out of ‘lack of options,’ she knew He could heal her if she just touched His clothing.  She didn’t have to go as far as touching Him, but just His clothing.  That is quite a demonstration of belief in Jesus’ power to heal.

IMG_2532.PNGThere have been many times I have felt just like the hemorrhaging woman.  The only difference is, I was not suffering from a physical bleeding.  I was suffering from a hemorrhaging spirit.  As I dig deeper within, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I am uncovering so much about my past that has affected my present.  I see the results of that lack of healing, perhaps the lack of faith at the time.  Things that I suffer from and have suffered from, as a much older adult, are continued outpouring, bleeding of the wounds inflicted from my childhood and early adulthood.  As my faith has become stronger and I receive the Sacraments on a regular basis, my open wounds are being revealed to me and I can feel the healing, the bleeding slowing down.  Is it ironic or is it my FAITH in Jesus’ healing?  Prior to five years ago, my relationship with Jesus was very much on the surface.  Today, my relationship with Him is deeper and I know the power of that relationship with Him.  I know the healing power of the Eucharist and reconciliation.  I know the power of prayer.  I know because I have had a personal encounter with it.  Friends, Jesus’ healing power is real and it is right before our eyes in prayer, a relationship with Him and in the Sacraments.

Why is it hard for us to see it, to believe it?  Is it our culture, the world that tells us it’s not real?  Are we just too busy to stop and see it, to stop and take part in quiet time with Jesus, to go to Mass and go to confession?

He is waiting for each of  you, right there on the altar.  Come to Him in the Sacraments and be healed.  Stop your spirit from bleeding by touching the cloak of Jesus in the Eucharist and reconciliation.  Believe in the healing power of the Son of God and stop hemorrhaging.

Have you named and claimed the pain stealing your joy?

As I stood up, I could feel blood streaming down my face.  I was 5 and had been standing behind an aluminum horse swing.  I had just been told not to stand near the swing and like a typical kid, I did anyway.  The results – a gash on my forehead requiring stitches.  Interesting fact:  when our bodies bleed, a signal is sent from our brain to the blood vessels to try and constrict them to stop the bleeding – initiating the healing process.

Just as our brains recognize the physical wounds, we must also recognize our emotional wounds to begin to heal and ‘stop the bleeding’ of our hearts.  Accepting that there is hurt and it’s time to move past it is important to start the healing process. Often, we become so deeply a part of what is embedded in our daily trials that it becomes a part of our identity, dwelling in this place of pain and hurt.

So how do you recognize something is wrong?  How do you uncover this pain, name it and claim it?

When my check engine light comes on in the car, it is a warning sign that something is definitely not right and I need to have someone take a look at it.  If I fail to acknowledge it and continue to drive my car with the check engine light on, I may be able to get several miles out of it before something happens that may leave me on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck and cost me more money than if I would have had it checked when it first came on.  Unlike our cars, we don’t have a flashing warning light that is visible right in front of us.  We just feel this emotional pain constantly piercing our hearts.

light heart clouds summer
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If you ignore the piercing of your heart, refusing to name it and claim it, the pain continues to grow, binding you and strangling your joy – costing you more, just like ignoring the warning light on your car.

Name it 

I remember the day after I left my ex-husband, how bruised and broken I felt.  It wasn’t until after I left and reality began to settle that I realized how much I was bleeding internally from the open wounds of my marriage.  Within an instance my world was shaken up and now I had to name what seemed normal in my life.  Without giving it a name, I could not deal with it, eliminate its constant infliction upon me and move past it.  I had to know what it was to begin to deal with it, to heal from it.

Until you give it a name, even though you have recognized that you are hurting, you can’t move into the healing phase.  Naming it gives you this affirmation that there is a wound that needs to be healed.  It provides you a focal point and identification of what you need to heal from.

When you go to the doctor because you have stomach pain or some other ailment that is bothering you,  he performs a diagnostic based on your symptoms.  Then he tells you the name of the ailment and how he is going to treat it.  He can’t treat it unless he knows what he is treating.

This is the same with our spiritual and emotional healing.  Until you know what your ailment is, give it a name, you can’t move on in the healing process.

Claim it

Now that you have given it a name, you have to accept it.  It is a part of your life journey but it does not define you as an individual.  Accepting the pain allows you to surrender to God to enable Him to walk with you and heal you.

The most vivid image I have of this part of my own healing process is peeling the layers of an onion.  This is an image that crops up often in my spiritual direction meetings.  Just when I think I am healed, another layer begins to come off.  And just like peeling an onion, tears are shed.  The more layers I peel, the deeper I go within my heart, uncovering roots of the pain in my life.  The grace of peeling that onion is the wisdom gained as I face the deeper pain and accept God’s help.  What I have discovered is that the closer to the core, my relationship with God deepens, my dependence on Him strengthens.  This is how I know that I am personally healing spiritually.

Are you feeling a piercing in your heart?  Have you named it and claimed it?  If not, start today so that you can heal within and unravel the chains that have been binding your joy.

Spiritual Healing

pexels-photo-999311.jpeg“For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds.” – Jeremiah 30:17 (NASB)

Who hasn’t endured suffering through a trial or doesn’t know someone who has?  I’m not sure anyone can answer “not me” to this question.  Pain and suffering surround our life.  It’s part of our world.  Trials are a part of our life journey.  God never says we will not suffer.  He does say he will be with us and see us through those times of suffering.

Jesus bore the ultimate suffering.  When he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, his “tears became like drops of blood,” (Luke 22:24) and he placed his will in God’s hands.  As he asks God to “take this cup away from me; still, not my will, but yours be done,” (Luke 22:42) God gave him strength to endure the suffering of his journey that lay before him.  God also sent Simon the Cyrenian to help carry Jesus’ cross.  I believe God also sends people and circumstances to us as we place our will in his hands during our struggles, while carrying our crosses.

Everyone undergoes suffering at some point in their life.  These trials may come in different shapes and sizes and affect each person in different ways.  One may suffer the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, addiction, divorce, be a victim of abuse or a tragic accident.  This list goes on.  During this time, many people discover a relationship with God or may strengthen their relationship with God.  Some may never get passed it.  They may become angry with God.  They may wonder where God is or how could he let this happen, yet they never ask him.  They remain stuck, angry, bitter.  Their world becomes plagued with darkness and they can’t move on, past the hurt.

Healing from a tragedy or a trial in your journey of life is key to peace, joy and happiness.  Healing cannot be complete without going through a process, an emotional process, a process with God ever present, guiding you.

Many years ago, I went through an emotional healing process, a spiritual healing.  Through my journey, I uncovered a reliance on God.  I sought God as he guided me through a very emotional and painful divorce.  There were several elements along the way that I needed to achieve spiritual healing, total healing from my trial.  God prepared me each step.  Before advancing to the next step, I needed to learn the step before it.  It’s like a father who is teaching his little girl how to walk.  Before she can begin to walk on her own, he helps her stand and feel her strength in her legs.  Then he holds her hand as he helps her move each foot, one step at a time.  When she begins to grasp it, he lets go.  She falls and he picks her up, reassuring her confidence as he holds her hand again and then let’s go.  The process continues until she masters each step, with his guidance and security knowing he is there to pick her up.  This process is similar to God’s spiritual healing process.  The entire time he is there giving you strength, guiding your hand, and ready to pick you up when you fall.  Then one day, you are ready to walk your journey with joy in your heart.

God’s Tenderness, Wounded and Comforted

As a mother, I am privileged to kissing “booboos”, cleaning them up and bandaging them.  The greater privilege is comforting the wounded child, letting her know it’s all going to be okay.  Just as a mother nurtures her child’s wound, so does God.  God so gently “heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds”, Psalm 147:3.  All He asks is that we trust Him to take control of the hurt and allow Him to provide the healing.  He will comfort and heal the depths of the wound with His tender love, mercy, and compassion.  He wants us to allow Him to guide us with His tenderness, to trust Him and not pick at the wound and reopen it.  Just like a surface wound, if we pull off the band aid and pick at it, it never has the opportunity to heal.  Our wounds may have lessons for us to learn as we look back upon them but God doesn’t want us to stay there picking at it.  He wants us to see the disorders present and to fall into His grace and move into His loving embrace, where He will heal and bind up the wound.  He cleanses our wounds with life giving water and His band aid is an everlasting covering of healing.  Let Him nurture your wounds today as you open your heart to His healing love.