“Many are the plans of the human heart, but it is the decision of the LORD that endures.” Proverbs 19:21
None of us ever want to just take the reigns or the wheel and go full speed ahead, knowing exactly where we are going and where the next turn is, do we? This is our constant nature. We want to be in control. We know what’s best for us, our family and even sometimes our friends.
And then one day, something clicks and you realize that you aren’t in control. May be it was that moment you fell ill, or lost a job, or found yourself in an unwanted divorce. Whatever the circumstance, at some point you realize you do not have control, you never did.
Several months ago, I found myself in the emergency room. This visit initiated a long process of healing. I am a very independent person that struggles with being still and resting. A couple of months after the emergency room visit and lots of downtime and rest, I found myself needing another surgery. This series of surgeries has caused me to rest a lot. Something I’m not very good at. As weeks go by, I find myself so ready to get back to normal, normal routine of juggling work and everyday motherhood. I must be insane.
When I think about that insanity… stresses of everyday life versus resting what am I thinking? As I reflect on that, I find myself saying to myself I want to be in control of life again. I want to be able to do everything that is normal to me. Isn’t this typical of us? Instead of resting in God and letting him take the wheel, we always want to drive and him be our passenger. God probably chuckles every time we do it, thinking to himself, why can’t they make it easy? I’m in control anyway, why don’t they just rest and enjoy the ride. We may think we have the wheel and are driving but in reality we don’t. Next time you are faced with the choice of rest or taking the reigns, just rest and let God be God.
Another truth I’m learning from my surgeries is having patience and allow the process to take shape as needed. Today I had a follow up appointment with my doctor. Weekly visits, high maintenance healing process is what I heard him say. Frustrated, I thought – REALLY? When I had a moment to think, I sat down and digested in prayerful thought. I heard God tell me that my life is high maintenance, a slow process of refining me into the gem he created me to be. Just as my doctor is refining my healing little by little so is God in my life. Each little moment, each painful struggle, each moment of healing internally and externally is a step closer in this slow process to the glorious moment of eternity.
This healing process from day 1 emergency room visit is teaching me 2 things:
1. God is in control, rest and enjoy.
2. Life is a slow process, have patience and trust God.
Today, I ask you are you struggling with letting God pilot and you copilot or are you asking God to be copilot? Are you wanting to speed up the healing, get rid of the struggles, get rid of the frustrations, or the stress before God says your ready? God, like your doctor, knows the best path forward for your treatment. Trust in that, let him be the pilot.