Does dense fog make you uneasy?

I’m convinced that God tugs at our hearts and our minds through people and nature. 

Nature is so active. God can reveal so much to us through the things around us and how they integrate into our lives and surroundings.  Nature excites me when I see parallelisms that can be drawn to our daily lives.

One morning at work, I decided to take a walk around the pond amid the fog. It was early morning so it was also a bit dark. Sight past a few feet was difficult. As visibility was limited, sounds surrounding me, drew my focus. The leaves rustled beneath my feet as my ears turned towards the sounds of the water from the fountain and waterfall. I was at peace as I listened to the elements God had surrounded me with.

Fog is not normally peaceful. It’s typically a bit eerie. Because it limits visibility, what lies ahead is unknown. Unknowns can be unsettling.

Journeying through life is often like an open road with dense fog up ahead. We don’t know what the road ahead looks like and that uncertainty produces fear.  Perhaps in some circumstances, we can predict an outcome but most often, we can’t predict what lies ahead in our journey.  This is particularly the case when it comes to relationships.

I have been reading Lysa Terkeurst’s latest book “I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t”.  The book talks a lot about her experience in her marriage that led to divorce, issues with trusting others in relationships and trusting God.

Wow, did I relate to a chunk of the pages written in her book.

I’ve been divorced for around 10 years. I’ve convinced myself that I’m open to a relationship and waiting on God to send “Mr Right” and of course my kids to be older.  My daughters are both well into their teen years and I’m still waiting on God.  Or am I?

About 6 months ago, my sister asked me a question.  She asked me if I had ever been in love.  I kind of stumbled on the answer.  I’m not quite sure I have. At least, not the kind of love that I know I want in a relationship with the opposite sex.  The love I experienced with my ex-husband was not the self-sacrificing, giving of each other kind of love that God intends for us to give and receive in relationships.

As I read Lysa’s book, I really pondered a lot about the present state of my journey. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m afraid of the fog in front of me.

TRUST!!

Is waiting on “Mr Right”, my way of controlling the path to avoid similar hurt and brokenness? Am I afraid of embarking on another situation of pain?

In my mind it feels like Russian roulette… will I get lucky and discover real love, a Christ-centered love or will I fall right back into another dark space of unhealthy love, pain, brokenness.

Seems like the last 10 years has been a journey of trust for me. Each time I feel I’ve got it… totally understand trust and 100% place it in God’s hands, God reveals another area to refine.

More building required.

In order to maneuver through the blanket of fog requires vulnerability, a word I’ve grown to not like so much. Yet a word, and an act that is necessary for trust and living life according to God’s Will. Some days I want to pitch a tantrum, stay in my safety box where it’s nice and secure. But I know the alternative of trusting God, journeying through the fog, even through brush and thorns. That alternative produces fruit and beauty that I couldn’t imagine because my sight is so limited compared to what God can see. I think God’s tugging a little to draw me further into a trusting relationship with Him by opening me up to trusting others with my heart.

Moving on in a journey of relationship is my fog today.  What is your fog?  What is holding you back because it seems uncertain and risky? 

How do we cut through the fog?

My list of tools:

Follow the light of Christ

Surrender and trust in God

Seek truth in the Word of God

I invite you to pick up your tool kit of faith as you embark on a new year, moving forward through the fog in a Christ-centered life.

Categories: Faith

Tags: #Catholic, #Christian, #god, #joy, #life, Jesus, Love, Trust