From the fear that I am unlovable, Deliver me, Jesus -Litany of Trust, Sisters of Life
How does someone develop the feeling that they are unlovable?
About a year ago, my late sister was over for a visit. She questioned me about love. Her question to me was whether I had ever experienced love. As we spoke, I felt this deep sense that she didn’t feel loved. She was really searching for it and had this deep longing for love. She was an addict for over half of her life. Addiction steals, it breaks and destroys a person’s self-worth.
I’m certain that her feelings of being unlovable were rooted in her addiction. I know she felt shame and guilt in many of the choices she made. I also believe that she felt she disappointed her family, my parents, particularly my dad, her daughters and me.
My sister is a drop in the ocean of those who feel they are unlovable. Depression, shame, guilt, failures, mistakes, unhealthy relational experiences, and self-criticism all contribute to this feeling of not being lovable. In all this, the missing link is a foundational trust and knowledge of the Creator and His unfathomable love He has for all of His creation despite failures, bad choices, others’ distorted view of love.
If we turn to the Bible, we read numerous accounts of how lovable we are. In the Old Testament, Leviticus 19:18, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” We hear Jesus say these same words in Mark 12:31. He tells us this is the second commandment and then follows up that this along with loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength are the greatest of all commandments.
In 1 John 4:7, John calls us beloved and tells us to “love one another because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.” Grounding ourselves in this LOVE that is God, that is found in a relationship with Him is something that resides internally, not based on external factors of the world. This is the foundation that stands firm to all the external voices that speak into a person telling them they are unlovable.
Our world is so broken, it cannot illustrate a love so great as the one that God shows us in the death of Christ for ALL sinners.
God extends this LOVE to each of us through the greatest sacrifice of laying down His life for each individual – murderer, thief, liar, faithful Christian, kindest person, helpful servant. It matters not what your journey looks like. He loves you and desires you above all things. You are lovable beyond measure in His perfect eyes.
If we look at the Saints throughout history, there is a common theme of love – a way of life. At some point in their lives, they experienced this great love of Christ, and their lives were lived based on the love they knew and felt from God. As we read quotes by many of the Saints, we hear that everyone is lovable because we were each created in the image and likeness of God. He created us for love, to be loved.
St John Bosco said “it is not enough to love, people have to feel that they are loved.”
How do we feel lovable?
Love is an action that someone does unto another. It is a kind act. It is looking beyond another’s faults, failures, different personality, different expressions and letting them know they matter. It is embracing the marginalized – the homeless, the addict, the single mom, the unborn, the orphan, the abused, the lost soul. The more we show love through our actions, those who fear they are unlovable will feel the outstretched hands of God’s love warm their heart. May all be united with the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus as we conclude with the Litany of Trust – “From the fear that I am unlovable, Deliver me, Jesus”.
Women Who Walk By Faith 
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