Are you searching for God today?

“Faith is trusting that what God reveals is true; hope is trusting that what he promises will come about; love is trusting that what he asks us to do is what we should do. If we put our trust in God, and not in ourselves, we will find God.” The Better Part

Is God at the center of your life? Or have you been searching for Him, seeking Him? Have you prayed for His help lately and wonder if He will ever answer you?

About a week ago, my precious little one, was struggling with something. I asked her if she had been praying about it. She looked at me with a hint of frustration and told me she had but God just takes too long. I chuckled but a part of me certainly knew where she was coming from.

Many years ago, when I started my faith journey, I remember reading something about searching for God. The analogy that the author used was that of a storm. Sort of interesting… no, I’m not going to explain the wrath of God. What she said hit me in a very deep way. She explained that in the midst of the storm in life, the hurricane in my case, we are so focused on the outside. We search and search for God in the storm – in the rain, the lightening and the wind; but we don’t feel Him, we don’t see Him. We wonder where is He? Why isn’t He present with us? What she goes on to explain is that when we transition into the eye of the storm, hence my hurricane, we realize that is where God is present. He has been there the entire time. He is in the center, the calm of the storm. We didn’t need to search. We didn’t need to yell out to Him, seeking Him. He was there waiting for us.

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One of the Gospel readings last week was Matthew 11:25-30. In this reading, Jesus says ” Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light.” Christ teaches us that when ‘we put our trust in God, and not in ourselves, we will find God’. Isn’t that what happens when we transition to the calm of the storm. It is in that moment, we place our trust in God. And in that moment we feel His very essence of comfort and love that gives us hope and grounds us in our faith.

I have had a number of storms in my life and today when I reflect on those storms, I see God’s hands embracing me.  I see His presence with me in the storm but at the moment I was so focused on the storm that I couldn’t see Him, I couldn’t feel Him and I cried out in prayer.  Just as my daughter stated, I felt some days that He took a long time to answer.  Listen to the lyrics to “Just Be Held”, by Casting Crowns.

“If your eyes are on the storm, you’ll wonder if I love you still.  But if your eyes are on the cross, you’ll know I always have and I always will.”

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Today, if you are in the midst of a storm, perhaps a hurricane, know that God is there.  Go to the eye of the storm, the center, focusing on the cross and anchor your faith, hope and love, trusting in God and not yourself to calm the storm swirling around you.

Your measuring stick or God’s?

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire!” St. Catherine of Siena

Do you carry around a measuring stick?  Is your measuring stick perfection?  Or is your measuring stick someone else?  Are you constantly pulling it out and measuring yourself against it?  When you don’t measure up, do you beat yourself up over it?

Food for thought and a real struggle for many of us.

I guarantee I’ve been pulling mine out a lot.  One of the toughest job roles I have is being a mom.  This is the role I pull out my measuring stick the most to compare against.  In this role, I feel I have to be perfect.  Why?  Because God entrusted these two souls into my care.  There is one person that knows my parenting better than my kids.  She can attest that I evaluate my parenting style and if it isn’t working I adjust.  At the end of the day, I still do not meet the measuring stick of perfection and it leaves me feeling I am not good enough.

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The Blessed Mother, Mary, is the ideal mother.  She exhibits total trust in God.  She is a very humble and loving mother to our Lord and to us as her spiritual children.  She is the role model that I look to as a mother.  My own relationship with my mother hasn’t been the greatest and there are a lot of things about mothering that I don’t quite get or understand.  Often I feel like I am treading water with my good intentions of teaching my children to love God above all things, read the Bible, practice their faith, be respectful, accountable, honest and kind.  Then there are these moments of affirmation in things my girls say or do that confirm I don’t have to be perfect in my sense of perfection, according to my measuring stick.  I only have to fulfill the things that God asks me to do as their mother and allow Him to do the rest.  When I do as He asks me, I am fulfilling this role in perfection, in God’s perfection – not my ideal measuring stick I have tucked away.

I always have to chuckle at God’s hidden messages.  I had started writing this last night and this morning I read a memory on my Facebook page from 2013 where I was reflecting, at the pond at work, what my oldest daughter had told me.  She had told me that she told her friends that God made everything perfect, even the trees.

I think children hold the secrets to life sometimes.  If even the trees are perfect then so am I.  I think the key to that perfection is conforming to God’s will in my life, just as the trees conform to all God provides.

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As my role as a mother, there are two most important things that I can do for my children in conforming to that will and that is to teach them to love God above all things and to look to Him for guidance in making the right choices.  If I instill these two values in them, everything else doesn’t really matter.  They will make mistakes and I will make mistakes but if we always come back to those key learnings, our life will be perfect, perfect in conformity to God and not a measuring stick in my pocket.

This applies to all things in our lives, not just our roles in life.  Often we have trouble loving ourselves because we compare ourselves to others or perfect ideals on our measuring sticks.  We only see our faults and never feel good enough.   Our flaws are like neon signs and they tend to take away any peace that Jesus has given us.  Today, chunk your measuring stick of PERFECTION in the trash.  Tell yourself you will not pull it out again.  Look within at the person God  created you to be and place your trust in Him, conforming to all He has in store for you and that is where you achieve PERFECTION.  You are perfectly made to love and be loved.  Don’t let lies of the enemy tell you any different.

Seeing God in all things

Is your heart open to receiving God?  Is your mind open to allowing Him to reveal Himself to you?  Are your eyes and ears open to seeing and hearing Him around you?

God is present in all things, I have no doubt about that.  He has revealed Himself to me in so many things, small things on the ground, on my windshield, in a person, in a hug, in a book, and through life of the animals and plants around me.  I have written a lot about seeing God in all things.  I want to share an experience I had where God revealed Himself through the Bible and nature.

As I was looking for something, I ran across something in a journal that I had written during a weekend I spent at a Bed N Breakfast two years ago.  I decided to just sit with my Bible on the porch, read and reflect. I flipped to my favorite Psalm, Psalm 139, read it, placed my Bible down, and asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what God wanted me to see.  I never imagined what God had in store.  The pages in my Bible flipped.  I picked it up and read something, jotted it down.  Put the Bible back down and the wind turned the pages again, so I picked it back up and jotted the verses I read.  This went on for quite some time.  The most interesting part of it all was that what I was jotting down was in sync with what I was seeing and hearing around me as I peered in the distance from the view of the porch.  This Bed N Breakfast has become a spiritual encounter for me each time I spend a weekend there.  This is my spot to connect with God through nature.  Through this place and what I have learned over the years from the teachings of St. Ignatius, I find that God reveals Himself to us in so many things throughout our day.  It’s just a matter of opening our minds, heart and eyes.  I want to share what I wrote, a composite of all the verses I read.

Why do I seek You Lord when You are with me.  You sit beside me.  You hold me and comfort me.  You rest Your hand upon me.  From Your presence I cannot flee.  You are all around me.  (Psalm 139:5, 7)  I hear a melody as You whisper to my heart a new song, a song of love.  (Psalm 144:9)  I see the birds of Heaven perched in a tree.  Among the branches, he sings a melody.  I know this is meant for me, to know that You are near, that You are singing to my heart.  Your melody is found in the chimes of the wind as You turn the page of Your Word, speaking to my heart.  You tell me You guard my steps by day and my sleep by night for You never slumber nor sleep.  I find rest in knowing Your hand will guard me from the enemy.  (Psalm 144:4,7)  For You tell me that You are my Father, I am Your daughter.  You are the Rock of my salvation.  (Psalm 89:27)  You fill me with Your mercy as I am poor and needy. (Psalm 109:22)  You give me food for my soul as I marvel in Your wondrous works.  For great are Your works, majestic and glorious. (Psalm 111:2-3)  The trees sparkle like fluttering butterflies as they dance to Your harmony.  The birds are so carefree as they spread their wings and are lifted to the Heavens.  My mind is in awe as I watch the light of Your presence sweep across the grass like a lamp for my feet guiding my path. (Psalm 119:105)  Your hand is my compass as it brushes the grass saying follow me.  The wind is Your messenger guiding my journey, never fleeing and always patient.  Your light is a cloak covering my soul.  The clouds are Your chariot on the wings of the wind lifting my heart and my soul to a place of rest in Your presence. (Psalm 104:1-4)

As the pages were turning in my Bible and I was jotting down verses and taking in everything around me I noticed a few things.  I observed, a bright colorful cardinal perched in a nearby tree, a beautiful coat of red contrasting the leaves of the tree.  I heard songs of the birds as I listened attentively.  I knew this song was for me to hear, to know God was near, present in the melody.

In the distance, I watch as the light and the shadows brushed the meadow.  The winds moved the grass as if God’s hand was gliding over it.  The light moved across the field followed by a shadow, as if the chariot of the clouds was traveling ‘on the wings of the wind.’  The view, the sounds and the verses I read all made sense.  God was speaking to me through the wind.  The Holy Spirit was turning the pages of the Bible and my eyes and ears were drawn to things surrounding me to let me know that this was meant for me to hear and to see, to feel God’s presence, to know He was with me always guiding and protecting me.

The last verses I read as I sat on that porch were:

  • “Teach us to count our days aright that we may gain wisdom of heart,” Psalm 90:12.
  • “Fill us at day break with Your mercy that all our days we may sing for joy,” Psalm 90:14.
  • “If only I had wings like a dove that I might fly away and find rest.  Far away I would flee; I would stay in a desert.  I would soon find a shelter from the raging wind and storm,” Psalm 55:7-9
  • My message to you my friends as I write this is that we never journey alone. God is with us in each moment, in the subtlety of life. Ask Him today to reveal Himself to you. Open your heart, mind, eyes and ears to receive Him. Perhaps in your path, you will see a cross on the sidewalk from the formation of pine needles or the warmth of air will brush your face in a moment of need. In these moments, He is letting you know He’s there.
  • Journey through the desert

    Take a journey with me. Let’s walk along a path that seems to have no foot steps in front of us. Perhaps there have never been any or perhaps they have been covered up by the sands.

    There is nothing living among the path we walk, everything appears to lack life. As we walk, let’s look at the moments in our journey that did not bring life into us. Look at them closely. Is there anything you can learn from those moments that will breathe life in you today? Something present that will help you with a trial, tribulation or a feeling of unrest?

    Walk along this desert floor and feel the heat of each of these moments. Feel the dryness of your faith. Do you thirst for God as you trodden this warm, sand filled land? Do you see a mirage of your Heavenly Father before you inviting you to sift through the sands of the desert in your life, to draw closer to Him by offering these feelings to Him, bringing life upon you? Or do you see a mirage of something that isn’t from God, tempting you to turn back and dwell in the journey behind you suffering death within, clouding your vision to move forward – to see God in the moments of hurt and pain? Which mirage will you turn to? Which one draws you near?

    You continue to walk along this journey and notice above your head there appears to be a dove. He flys just in front of you. You have to glance upward to see him. You wonder what is a dove doing in the middle of the desert. Yet you feel an exuberant amount of peace. Could it be the dove’s presence? Can you feel his guidance along your path? Follow him. See where he takes you.

    It looks like he is guiding you to a spring ahead? It appears to be a spring of life giving water. Is it another mirage tempting you? Or is it a spring from your Heavenly Father inviting you to dive in His love, accept the grace He has given you? Will you drink from it? Will you dive in? Or will you pass it by because your vision is cloudy and the reality of the spring has been covered up by your conscience?

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    It is your choice to drink from the spring of life to come to the table and receive the Eucharist, the life giving body and blood of Christ. It is your choice to dive into the moments of desolation, the moments when God feels distant and search for His presence, His invitation. It is your choice to allow Him to bring life into your being or remain in the desert of death. Which choice will you make today? God will draw close to you in the desert filling you with a spring of life.

    How do you view God?

    “He will shelter you with his pinions, and under his wings you may take refuge; his faithfulness is a protecting shield.” Psalm 91:4

    How do you view God?  Is He a loving and compassionate God?  Or a tyrant with boundaries?  Does He offer you safety and comfort or does He abandon you?

    I think throughout our life our vision of God may change depending on the stage we are in, our particular season. It’s quite interesting because God is never changing. It’s difficult for our minds to grasp that because we relate God to our human relationships. These change, sometimes daily, and so we think God’s relationship with us also changes.

    I’ve struggled a lot with how I see God. In my feeble mind, I often viewed God as a task master and if I didn’t follow the rules or the task, he would reign down a judgement of dissatisfaction.

    My dad was very strict on me as a child. I was a Navy brat for some time. If I didn’t follow the rules, there were consequences. I also don’t recall being very close to my dad as a child. He was absent a lot in my life as I was growing up, some because of work and other times due to circumstances between him and my mom. As I grew into a young adult, my relationship with my dad was very strained, resulting in feelings of dissatisfaction and judgment in my relationship with my dad.

    I share this because I think this has had a huge impact on who God was to me. People in our lives, especially our male relationships, tend to be our connection on how we envision God. If those relationships are not so good, we can have a very despairing vision of who God is for us. Today, my relationship with my dad is much better and my vision of God is morphing into a God of comfort and protection, a God who has all the best intentions for me because of His enormous love for me.

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    I find nature can teach us so much of who God is. Yesterday, as I was walking around the pond at work, I noticed 2 ducks. At first, I did not see the very tiny ducklings nearby. These ducklings were a short distance away from the adult ducks, assuming the parents. When they saw me nearby, they all waddled to the parents, hovering under and around. This painted a perfect picture of how God provides refuge to us as King David states in Psalm 91, “He will shelter you with His pinions and under His wings you may take refuge”. As I watched, my heart filled with completely peace and love because God had just revealed to me exactly how He protects me, provides me shelter and loves me each day of my life.

    What have you seen lately that has revealed God’s protection, comfort, love and compassion? If you open your eyes and your heart, He will uncover who He is for you through everything around you. Pay attention to nature, you never know what He will show you.

    Where is your dependence?

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    “If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you.” Luke 12:28

    Have you walked through a field of wildflowers lately? Ever just sit where you are surrounded by wildflowers?

    While you sit do you watch God’s presence among the field? What about the marvel of colors surrounding your eyes, how God clothes the field with beauty?

    As you walk towards the field, notice the magnificent painting in front of you. Only the hands of your Heavenly Father could paint such intimate detail of color. As you walk into the field, touch the flowers as you walk through them. Feel the texture and smell the fragrance. Take a seat and watch the closest flower to your body. Do you see how it goes wherever God tells it with the movement of the wind? As the wind stands still, it rest in the stillness of God, waiting for Him to direct its next movement or perhaps its next visit from a bee collecting its nectar. The flower doesn’t struggle with life, yet it moves with life. It doesn’t anticipate the next moment or worry about its next nourishment. It listens and waits for Its creator to direct what’s in store for it. Watch as it stands there, reflecting the beauty of its maker.

    Jesus tells us that we should be like the wildflower, not anxious and independent, but trusting and dependent on God. He says the flowers do not “toil or spin”, and they are clothed more beautiful than the splendor of Solomon.

    Where is your dependence? On yourself or God? Why do you struggle and busy yourself? Why do you worry about things that you have no control of, yet are in total control of God? I find the times I pray about things I begin to worry about are times I relax and enjoy the most. Next time, you begin to worry about something, take a moment and pray about that which is worrying you. Ask God to give you rest and take your worries away so that you may have peace and enjoyment of the moment He has placed before you.

    Be Still…

    Be still and know that I am God. Psalms 46:11

    pexels-photo-326055.jpegHave things in your life been hectic, with little room for God? Are you struggling to sit quietly in prayer to listen to what He wants to tell you? Is your mind full of clutter and preventing you from being in the stillness, the presence of God?

    Sometimes I think when we are at this pivotal moment where we are struggling to find this time, to free our minds, to sit at the feet of Jesus and just be still, God places us in a circumstance that does just that. He calls us to rest in Him when we are tired, weary, worn out from the busyness of life.

    For me, I think this has been recent. I was at a pivotal moment where I was worn out, struggling to find time to pray. When I did find time, my mind was everywhere but there. I remember long ago when I was at the beginning of my spiritual journey, I told my spiritual director that my mind was full of clutter and I couldn’t pray. She suggested that perhaps God wanted me to bring this clutter to prayer. Again, recently, I found myself at this point, struggling to pray with all this clutter. Except this time the clutter was more about all the things I needed to do or to not forget I needed to do. Every time I sat down to pray, when I found a few minutes, my mind was focused on everything I needed to do that day.  My days had become too busy, too busy to even set aside a small amount of time for focused prayer.

    Several months ago, I found myself unexpectedly sitting in a hospital bed for 2 days with nothing to do, but rest.  This little episode caused me a lot of downtime, a lot of rest. I found myself often wondering what am I going to do with all this restful time, in the absence of the busyness? Then God whispers, “be still and know that I am God.” I am the God who created day and night, water and land, all the animals that roam the earth, and most of all you. Trust in my ways and embrace my love by resting in my arms today. Rest your mind and let me guide your thoughts and your path. I will direct your life, through the story I have already written and the living master piece I have set before you. Now let me direct you by first being still and listening to the tiny whispers you hear. For in Me, you find all that you long for, all that you need. Rest my dear one. Rest!

    In the busyness of your life consider setting aside time to be still and rest in the presence of God, at the feet of Jesus.  Quiet your mind and listen to what He is saying to you.  Your prayer is a conversation between you and Him, let Him speak to you as you rest your mind and your voice.