“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
When you read Psalm 46:10, what comes to mind? What do you think God is asking you?
This verse has been a headline in my head for years. In fact, it has been a part of me so much that my phone case has the verse on it. Several years ago, I found myself hearing this in so many things I was reading and the music I heard. I even remember a session in spiritual direction on this very topic during that same time period. I remember it so vividly because at the time I was hearing this message, I had signed up for not one but two retreats, back to back weekends – insanity perhaps or may be divine intervention. My spiritual director looked at me and asked me to pray about this because one of the retreats she was very familiar with was not “be still”. I can vouch for that, neither retreat involved resting in the stillness of God.
After I had attended the second retreat I found myself on the floor in my study surrendering something that had overcome me – “fear”. At the time, I knew that the retreats were definitely meant to be because of the fruits I received that I desperately needed at the time. What I didn’t realize was that God was about to lead me on a journey of learning to surrender and trust Him. Several months after the retreats, a defining moment in my life and spiritual journey began as my ex-husband began to pursue custody of our children. I began reading a book on surrendering to the divine providence of God that spoke volumes to me. What I saw was how much God’s presence in my past had impacted so much goodness in my present; how much He had delivered me from and how much He held me and loved me. As the reality of my struggles in my past shed light on my present and the goodness God had brought out of my past, I began to learn about trust, trusting God. The moments when I truly placed my trust in God, I found inner peace. I knew things would be ok, no matter what the outcome would be.
Why? BECAUSE ALL THINGS ARE FROM GOD AND OF GOD… GOD CAUSED OR GOD ALLOWED. AND HIS GOODNESS WILL ALWAYS BE REVEALED EVEN IN THE MESSES.
Last night, I was driving home from a meeting and on the radio the DJ was talking about the Hebrew meaning of “be still” from Psalm 46:10. What he said really spoke to me about my journey. He said that the meaning was to let go, to surrender. I was amazed as I began to reflect on my journey of trust that began 2 ½ years ago. When I was trying to understand and discern what God meant when He was telling me to “be still and know that I am God”, really was a discernment of trust and not so much stillness as I had assumed. I was embarking on a path in which I would need to surrender and trust Him and His ways, knowing that all good things come from Him. This surrender would begin during these two retreats as they began to open me up to see fear within me and to allow me to let it go by dropping to my knees that Sunday afternoon after returning from the second retreat.
TRUST and surrender are still illuminating my path as I journey through my life, now with a beautiful family of ACTS sisters. This year the theme for the retreat I am teaming on, the same retreat I attended first 2 ½ years ago, is “my refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust,” Psalm 91:2.
Although sometimes, I do believe God is calling me to rest in stillness with Him, I now know that when He called me to “be still,” He was telling me to let go and let Him be my God, taking care of what is dearest to my heart – my children.
God has a beautiful plan for each of our journey’s. Sometimes we may not understand at first, but the more we are open and in tune with Him, He sheds a bright lamp upon the path and reveals more to us about our journey and His plans as He molds us.