Sometimes life swirls in a series of directions and puts you on a path you never intended. Along that winding road, you make good and bad choices. Finding your true north through these choices is the key to finding joy in your life.
God gives us a compass that speaks to our conscience and our heart. Sometimes it’s difficult to recognize it. Our lives are so busy and our minds are full. The world interacts in a way that affects our ability to sit or turn to an awareness of a deeper connection in our choices. Some of our choices we know are consciously right; yet, we become conflicted in the things we think we have missed. The opportunities that the world tells us we have missed may not necessarily be a lack of or a missed opportunity. What if these choices are openings to a greater opportunity, a greater joy that you would have missed if you align with the world’s view of happiness versus your true north, the compass God has given you to follow.
What are choices you’ve made in life that the influences surrounding you told you were missed opportunities, yet they bore great fruit later in life?
The other day, one of the guys I work with affirmed a choice I have made as one of those true north choices. He proceeded to tell me that I was a great mom. This wasn’t very unusual coming from him but what came next really spoke volumes into me.
He said that when my girls would have a family of their own, they would truly understand and appreciate what I sacrificed. It took me a second or so to realize what sacrifice he was referring to because being a mom comes with many challenges and sacrifices.
He was referring to choosing a single mom life, sacrificing being loved to show love. I have struggled with this for some time. I’ve even felt perhaps something was wrong with me when I’m often asked by some of my dearest friends “are you seeing anyone?” I have friends who have been divorced that have moved on and remarried, why haven’t I? I’ve sorted through my hurts and pains from my marriage and questioned my healing and vulnerabilities.
In all my questioning of myself, two things always surface: my daughters and God’s desire for me. This choice of what some may think is putting my life on hold for my daughters is truly a search for a deeper love of loving.
What may seem like a sacrifice is actually a desire for a greater love, to love versus be loved. Will the fruit produced be something meant for my daughters in their life or will it be something even greater? I don’t know the answer to that but I do know that it will be something that will complete me in a way that not making this choice of remaining single never could. Perhaps God will surprise me one day when I’m so wrapped up in loving Him that I have completely surrendered my life to Him in a way I never have been able to. Perhaps I will never meet anyone that God intends for me to engage in the Sacrament of marriage with. What I do know is that loving my daughters with all that I have and desiring to love God with all my being is enough.
Sometimes those true north choices seem completely misaligned with our personal plans in life or the expectations of everyone and everything around us. They may even feel at times we are missing something or missing out on something. Are they less significant or a sacrifice? Or perhaps they are just the better choice, following the compass we were meant to follow.
Today I invite you to pull out your compass, dust it off and use it to map out the choices God is pointing you to, those true north choices. Don’t worry about worldly influences. Focus on those better choice that your conscience and your heart are nudging you to follow.
Lord, today I pray that you will guide me with the compass you have given me. I pray that my choices are not necessarily sacrifices but hidden joy found in the better choices that will produce great fruit in my journey.