Women Who Walk By Faith

Light in the darkness

Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Have you strayed from the path God was leading you on? Perhaps during some phase of your life, you took a different path, away from your faith. Looking back, can you see how easy it was to stray from God’s will in your life, to take a detour? May be one path looked more attractive, easy, or entertaining than the other.

This morning God let me in on a mini lesson.

I love to walk around the pond at work before starting my day. I sense God present around me as I walk prayerfully around the pond. I often ask God to reveal Himself to me, teach me or inspire me. Many times, He does just that.

This morning I started my day a little early. The sun had not yet risen, so the path I walked along was dark with light sprinkled around for some visibility. After praying, I allowed myself to be present to my surroundings. As I maneuvered through the darkness, I could hear the pleasant sound of the waterfall and the birds singing. Music to my ears. As I walked along the path, I noticed a little bird just as the path makes a small fork. I watched him and began to follow him. I detoured to the path that I normally do not take as I walk around the pond so that I could follow the bird. Even though I didn’t get lost, it reminded me how easy it is to wander from the path, to stray from God. I began to ponder this for a minute. In the struggles of my marriage, I could have fallen into hopeless despair instead of falling into my faith. Through my divorce, I could have run into the arms of another man, instead of being embraced by God. If I would have strayed from the path God was leading me on during the darkest days of my life, I would not be content in who I am, and who God is for me. I would not have seen all that God was doing for me, how He was holding and carrying me. Perhaps, eventually, I may have found the path again as the two paths merged.

foggy path — Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

It’s so easy, especially when we are struggling with something, to turn to something else that may not be healthy for us. Sometimes it presents itself as the “thing” that will take away all our pain or something that looks more enticing. My mini lesson this morning validated John 1:5 “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Darkness is never dark when we allow God to be present within us. So in the darkest moments of our life, when we carry the Word of God within us, He is the “lamp for [our] feet, a light for [our] path” (Psalm 119:105).

I have seen this prevail in my own life as I allowed the tiny shimmer of light guide my path. It was Jesus in the Eucharist that shone upon my path guiding me closer to God as I walked through my struggles. This path wasn’t always easy but it has been a joyful ride, full of mountains and valleys, but it has never been dark because the darkness has always been overcome.

Have you allowed the light to shine upon your path in your journey? God’s light is never extinguished, as long as we accept the invitation to carry it.

A small box and a big God

“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him?” Romans 8:31

Have you ever prayed for something and felt God was ignoring you and so you begin to take control and force the outcome to fit your prayer request? If so, how did it turn out in the end?

I think sometimes just as in Natalie Grant’s song “King of the World,” we “try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world.” We forget how big God really is and how small we are. As a result we put God in a box that we design.

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Many years ago, I remember putting in for a position that would have been a promotion. I really thought I was the best candidate for the job. Hands down, I was going to get the job. To my amazement and a kick in my pride, I was turned down for the position. I remember being upset, knocked down, even a little embarrassed that I didn’t get the job. A year or so later, another position became available that would lead me to a higher promotion as well as provide the perfect work/life balance I needed. Reflecting back, I realized that the job I wanted would not fit in with work/life balance I would need later in life. As I look back on this very example, I realize how big God really is and how small I made Him when I was turned down for the first position.

Circumstances don’t happen by chance. God allows them or God wills them. When they are allowed, He will pick us up and carry us through it. When He wills it, it will be better than we would have ever imagined, definitely better than our own plans.

I humor myself sometimes when I start to think how many years I’ve been single. This is definitely a part of my life I have learned to put in God’s hands and every time I start to think about it, God reminds me of all the things He has been placing in my path that I could not do if I were not single. He also reminds me that His love sustains me and is enough every time I go to receive Jesus in the Eucharist and my eyes begin to weep because of the love He pours in me.

Just as in Romans 8:31, God gives me and you everything we need at each given moment, even His Son. It’s a great reminder for each of us that He is the “king of the world.” How can we put Him in a box based on our criteria? How can we draw lines and tell Him that He has to stay between those lines? Why do we think we can take control from the God who knows all, the God who is “for us,” the God “who did not spare His own Son but handed Him over for us?”

I think the answer is found in our human trust experiences. Over the years, through our human relationships, we learn to not trust because of circumstances that hurt us in relationships. I think this affects our trust in God as well. When we lack trust in God, we want to take control because we can only trust ourselves to deliver the outcome we expect.

Trusting God seems to be one of the hardest things to do, yet it’s in this trust that makes life simpler, easier, more joyful and peaceful. Look at your life circumstances in your past, when the thing that you thought was best for you fell apart and something better came up – was that God’s hands? When you went through suffering and came out of it more alive and joyful – was that God’s hands?

Think about how life would be if we allowed God to be the “KING OF THE WORLD” in all our life circumstances.

The deeper meaning

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

When you read Psalm 46:10, what comes to mind? What do you think God is asking you?

This verse has been a headline in my head for years. In fact, it has been a part of me so much that my phone case has the verse on it. Several years ago, I found myself hearing this in so many things I was reading and the music I heard. I even remember a session in spiritual direction on this very topic during that same time period. I remember it so vividly because at the time I was hearing this message, I had signed up for not one but two retreats, back to back weekends – insanity perhaps or may be divine intervention. My spiritual director looked at me and asked me to pray about this because one of the retreats she was very familiar with was not “be still”. I can vouch for that, neither retreat involved resting in the stillness of God.

abendstimmung atmospheric background beautiful — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

After I had attended the second retreat I found myself on the floor in my study surrendering something that had overcome me – “fear”. At the time, I knew that the retreats were definitely meant to be because of the fruits I received that I desperately needed at the time. What I didn’t realize was that God was about to lead me on a journey of learning to surrender and trust Him. Several months after the retreats, a defining moment in my life and spiritual journey began as my ex-husband began to pursue custody of our children. I began reading a book on surrendering to the divine providence of God that spoke volumes to me. What I saw was how much God’s presence in my past had impacted so much goodness in my present; how much He had delivered me from and how much He held me and loved me. As the reality of my struggles in my past shed light on my present and the goodness God had brought out of my past, I began to learn about trust, trusting God. The moments when I truly placed my trust in God, I found inner peace. I knew things would be ok, no matter what the outcome would be.

Why? BECAUSE ALL THINGS ARE FROM GOD AND OF GOD… GOD CAUSED OR GOD ALLOWED. AND HIS GOODNESS WILL ALWAYS BE REVEALED EVEN IN THE MESSES.

Last night, I was driving home from a meeting and on the radio the DJ was talking about the Hebrew meaning of “be still” from Psalm 46:10. What he said really spoke to me about my journey. He said that the meaning was to let go, to surrender. I was amazed as I began to reflect on my journey of trust that began 2 ½ years ago. When I was trying to understand and discern what God meant when He was telling me to “be still and know that I am God”, really was a discernment of trust and not so much stillness as I had assumed. I was embarking on a path in which I would need to surrender and trust Him and His ways, knowing that all good things come from Him. This surrender would begin during these two retreats as they began to open me up to see fear within me and to allow me to let it go by dropping to my knees that Sunday afternoon after returning from the second retreat.

TRUST and surrender are still illuminating my path as I journey through my life, now with a beautiful family of ACTS sisters. This year the theme for the retreat I am teaming on, the same retreat I attended first 2 ½ years ago, is “my refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust,” Psalm 91:2.

Although sometimes, I do believe God is calling me to rest in stillness with Him, I now know that when He called me to “be still,” He was telling me to let go and let Him be my God, taking care of what is dearest to my heart – my children.

God has a beautiful plan for each of our journey’s. Sometimes we may not understand at first, but the more we are open and in tune with Him, He sheds a bright lamp upon the path and reveals more to us about our journey and His plans as He molds us.

How much do I love thee?

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us; God sent his only-begotten Son into the world so that we might have life through him. In this is love; not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:7-10

Have you told yourself you love you lately? If not, take a moment and do so. And then take a moment and ask God how much He loves you? How did He respond? Did you find the answer unexpected? What about when you told yourself you loved you? Did you find that difficult?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “the desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for: The dignity of man rests above all on the fact that he is called to communion with God. This invitation to converse with God is addressed to man as soon as he comes into being. For if man exists it is because God has created him through love, and through love continues to hold him in existence. He cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and entrusts himself to his creator.”

Love seems so natural and so simple yet we struggle with it. We probably struggle with loving ourselves more than anything.

WHY?

I think we are the hardest critics of ourselves. We see every fault, every failure. We know every hurt, every negative word said to us. I think these things aid us in the inability to truly love ourselves, to truly love the person God created in us. We fail to see the person God sees in us because of the awesome critics we are. So if you truly listened to God once you asked Him how much He loved you, I’m sure you received a very different answer than you expected. Sometimes, we just don’t have the capacity and the ability to see how unconditional God’s love is. It is a hard thing to grasp because of our sin and what we see within us.

I want to share a personal story of a young woman who knew God, yet didn’t have a friendship with Him. She had not allowed Him to companion with her for many years throughout her life. Her vision of God was as a disciplinary, one who saw her faults and was displeased with her. One day, she found herself lost. She looked up to the Heavens and began to pray. As the days went by, she began to notice this growing desire for something. She began to read books about God and her faith. As she read and as she went to Mass, her heart began to desire more. As the “bread of life” was raised before her eyes, she felt this ache in her heart. When she approached the Eucharist, she felt this grave anticipation and hunger as her heart began to beat faster. She had received Holy Communion for years and had not felt this deep desire to consume the Host of her Lord. As she consumed it and drink the blood of Christ, she felt this warmth consume her and immediately a tear fell from her cheek. In that instant she realized the love that her Heavenly Father had for her. Every Mass thereafter, she longed to receive Jesus, to feel herself being transformed through the love He has for her in the sacrifice He made for her and does each time she goes to Mass. This desire continued to grow throughout the days, the weeks and months. She found herself almost daily at the foot of the Host, soaking in the very presence of Jesus in Adoration. His comforting embrace in her sorrows of her days were her “refuge and fortress.” She couldn’t wait to rush off to go have lunch with Him, to soak in His love that radiated in the silence of her heart when she was before Him in the chapel. This love grew beyond what she could ever have imagined. He was present when she was weak, when she needed comfort from her tears. He gave her strength to endure the days ahead and courage to follow Him. He protected her and calmed her fears and lifted her up on eagles wings to fly over the sea of despair into the heights of the mountains. As she saw all that He was doing in her heart and in her life, she began to place her trust in Him. Her life, through suffering, flourished in love as she had found her first true love and entrusted her life into His hands. She had discovered a loving friendship that had been pulling her from the day she was born that would fulfill her greatest desire of communion with Him into an unimaginable happiness – through her joy and pain. She knew this flame of love would never burn out. It may be a little dim at times but will always be refueled through the thirst and hunger that is always fulfilled in the love of her Heavenly Father and the sacrifice of her Lord as she receives the grace from the “bread of life” and “the fruit of the vine.”

God meets us where we are and when we are open and ready to receiving Him. Sometimes that time is in the midst of a trial in our lives. When that time comes, a true love story is sprouted. It is an unimaginable love that grows beyond anything you have experienced. If you haven’t opened your arms to receive the love God is waiting to share with you, today may not be a bad day to start. Blessings always.

Refuge in the rubble

“God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress. Thus we do not fear, though earth be shaken and mountains quake to the depths of the sea.” Psalm 46:2-3

Have you experienced the summit of the mountain and suddenly your world begins to shake and you find yourself in the midst of despair? Or may be you feel your life has always been shaken and you just want a break from the quake that is ever present?

Our life can be shaken by so many things. It can be loss of a loved one, terminal illness, divorce, addictions, a miscarriage, an unexpected birth – the list goes on and on. When the rocks start tumbling, where do you run to? To whom do you turn?

God promises to be our refuge, our fortress, our strength, yet most of us still struggle. I have been reading a book called “A Friendship Like No Other”. One of the key points in the book is having a relationship with God, with His Son, just as we have relationships with those before us in the flesh. In order to have a friendship with someone, you have to converse. As your friendship grows and trust grows, you begin to share more with that person, perhaps in some cases you share deep thoughts and feelings that you don’t share with others. If your friendship is stable and strong, you are comfortable talking about moments when you don’t agree, moments you become angry with each other over a disagreement.

What about with God? Have you felt angry with God when life throws a curve ball and all the rocks begin to crumble, crushing you from the inside? Do you feel comfortable telling God you are angry with Him, that you don’t understand His ways, that they are too difficult and you can’t follow His ways. In Matthew 19:16-22, a young rich man approaches Jesus and ask what he needs to do to have eternal life, Jesus tells him to go sell his things and then come follow Him. The young man goes away sad. The author of “A Friendship Like No Other”, William Barry, proposes a question, what if the young man stayed and had a conversation with Jesus? What if he told Jesus how difficult it was to sell all his things, that he just couldn’t do it and he needed help? Do you think the story would end differently? Do you think a friendship would have been sprouted if he had stayed and told Jesus just how he felt?

What if we are totally honest in conversation with God, just as we may be with a friend about our life situations that shake our world, turning it upside down? In the song by Micah Tyler, “Even Then”, in the pre-chorus he sings “Where could I run to? Where could I go?” and in the chorus when he talks about our world being shaken and the waters rising, he ends with “no matter how it ends You’re with me even then.” If we are honest with God about our feelings, if we tell Him everything and then ask Him to help us to not be angry, to understand, to follow Him, even then He will stand with us, give us all we need with love, compassion and mercy. He will carry us through the rubble no matter how long the journey takes. He does this because His greatest desire is a relationship with us. He longs for our friendship.

I ask you, dear friends, is your relationship with God a friendship? Can you converse with Him, just as you do with your best friend? Do you listen for His response, receive Him? If not, start today to tell Him everything that is on your mind. When you can’t pray, tell Him you can’t pray. When you are busy and you don’t have time for Him, tell Him you don’t have time for Him. When you are angry because He didn’t answer your prayer, tell Him. When you find it difficult to accept the things around you and you struggle with following Him, tell Him. He loves you no matter where you are in your relationship with Him. As you are more open with Him, your friendship will grow and when your world is shaken, you will know that “even then”, He’s with you clearing the rubble and carrying you through.

In your struggles, when the boulders seem too heavy to move, always remember that with “God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Heart of the matter

“I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

Have you been struck with unforgiveness? If so, have you looked at the weeds surrounding your heart? Do you want to de-weed your garden planted within you?

For some reason, I feel a great desire to write about “love”. It seems everything I have been reading is about love. The daily readings have been about love, a few devotions I have read, and a book on friendship with Christ.

It is difficult for us to love when our heart is “of stone”. Typically, our hearts become rigid and crystallize into a hardened substance that prevents love from being able to filter through when we have been hurt or lost trust with someone and we can’t forgive them or won’t forgive them. In Ezekiel 36:26, God tells us He will give us a heart transplant by removing the heart of stone and giving us a heart of flesh. The only way He can do that is if we create space for Him to do so, chiseling a small crack in the stone by forgiving those who have hurt us, those who have betrayed us, those who have trampled our pride or caused pain and discontent of some sort.

Forgiveness is hard because we often feel that person isn’t deserving or that it is justified to be angry or upset with that person. What we don’t realize is that the pain doesn’t go away until we forgive. The anger and bitterness is what crystallizes our hearts to the point of separating us from “LOVE”, from God. When forgiveness surfaces, breaking even a tiny pinhole in the stone, God is able to do His work and renew the heart of stone with a heart of flesh, literally melt away the hardness and de-weed His garden within you.

close up of tree against sky — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I personally have wrestled with acts of forgiveness with people who have hurt me, betrayed me or dampened my pride. What I have discovered is that when I have allow myself to break the wall of unforgiveness, my spiritual being becomes victorious, joy flourishes and in that joy I find love and a closer union with Christ.

God commands us to love one another. In fact, Jesus gives us this as the second greatest commandment in Matthew 22:36-39. Love is crucial to our Christian faith, because if we don’t have love, we become separated from God. If we cannot forgive our neighbors or ourselves to allow love to overcome our heart transforming it from stone to flesh, then we become lost in the weeds that surround our heart. God created us to desire Him. He has written it within our hearts (Catechism of the Catholic Church 27) and it’s what draws us closer in relationship with Him, to a friendship with Him. It is through the love of God we were created and through the love of God, the sacrifice of His “only begotten Son” that we exist through all of eternity.

St Teresa of Calcutta said that “joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.” To fulfill God’s will for us to help each other reach the gates of Heaven, we must first have love, love of self and love of one another. Let God’s desire for you written within your heart, flourish and nurture the seed He planted when He created you.

I will not be shaken

“I keep the Lord always before me. With Him at my right hand, I shall never be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

Are you aware of God’s constant presence with you? If He was sitting next to you, whispering to you, would you hear Him? If He stood behind you and gently pulled a strand of hair to get you attention, would you notice it?

Over the summer, I bought my girls each a tree frog. When it was feeding time, I went to feed them live crickets. In doing so, I removed the top lid from the terrarium and placed it on the ledge the terrarium was seated on. I had only noticed one frog when I began to place the crickets inside. I just figured the other frog was under the moss. When I went to put the lid back on, as I picked it up I noticed something had fallen off the lid. I quickly realized it was a frog. I screamed and jumped backwards, dropping the lid. Yesterday, I was met with a similar fear of a small reptile. As I was eating breakfast with my kiddos, my daughter began to get my attention and was pointing down at the table within one foot of my plate. When I realized that she was pointing at a lizard, I jumped and screamed creating quite a bit of excitement and adventure in catching the lizard.

You may say, what does the presence of God have to do with tree frogs, lizards and a screaming woman? Actually it has an interesting perspective and parallelism. You see, in either case – the instance with the tree frog and with the lizard – I did not see the small creature right away. I was not expecting either to be within my personal space and when I did notice I was very startled.

It can be the same way with God. When we are not attentive to our relationship with God, we may not recognize His presence or His call to something He is wanting us to do or say. When we finally realize God is there, we may become startled, especially if He is calling us to something and we are headed the other direction. On the other side of the coin, we may not have a relationship with God and are shaken by many things in our lives, especially in moments of struggles.

The very essence of it is that God is always with you and it is your attentiveness to your friendship with Him that is the key to all things in your life. God has paved the road in front of you. He has constructed the scenery along the path and He is directing you. It is your awareness of Him along your journey that creates the peace in the adventures of the joy filled moments and the painful moments. Being aware that God is on the journey with you carrying your baggage when they are too heavy and running carefree along the countryside when there are none to carry prepares you so that you won’t be surprised, but filled with peace and excitement.

woman wearing blue and white skirt walking near green grass during daytime — Photo by Ana Madeleine Uribe on Pexels.com

Although He is always near, God does not force Himself into any of our lives but if we nurture a relationship with Him and know He is “at [our] right hand, [we] shall never be shaken.” Even in the biggest trials along our journey, we will not be overcome.

Are you nurturing your friendship with God, tuning in your awareness to His presence? Will you notice when God taps you on the shoulder or whispers to your conscience? Are you prepared for the unexpected or will you be startled?

When the unexpected comes to visit, fear may stop in to visit as well but it can turn into peace knowing that God is present guiding you in all things.