#peace – Women Who Walk By Faith

Seeing God in all things

Is your heart open to receiving God? Is your mind open to allowing Him to reveal Himself to you? Are your eyes and ears open to seeing and hearing Him around you?

God is present in all things, I have no doubt about that. He has revealed Himself to me in so many things, small things on the ground, on my windshield, in a person, in a hug, in a book, and through life of the animals and plants around me. I have written a lot about seeing God in all things. I want to share an experience I had where God revealed Himself through the Bible and nature.

As I was looking for something, I ran across something in a journal that I had written during a weekend I spent at a Bed N Breakfast two years ago. I decided to just sit with my Bible on the porch, read and reflect. I flipped to my favorite Psalm, Psalm 139, read it, placed my Bible down, and asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what God wanted me to see. I never imagined what God had in store. The pages in my Bible flipped. I picked it up and read something, jotted it down. Put the Bible back down and the wind turned the pages again, so I picked it back up and jotted the verses I read. This went on for quite some time. The most interesting part of it all was that what I was jotting down was in sync with what I was seeing and hearing around me as I peered in the distance from the view of the porch. This Bed N Breakfast has become a spiritual encounter for me each time I spend a weekend there. This is my spot to connect with God through nature. Through this place and what I have learned over the years from the teachings of St. Ignatius, I find that God reveals Himself to us in so many things throughout our day. It’s just a matter of opening our minds, heart and eyes. I want to share what I wrote, a composite of all the verses I read.

Why do I seek You Lord when You are with me. You sit beside me. You hold me and comfort me. You rest Your hand upon me. From Your presence I cannot flee. You are all around me. (Psalm 139:5, 7) I hear a melody as You whisper to my heart a new song, a song of love. (Psalm 144:9) I see the birds of Heaven perched in a tree. Among the branches, he sings a melody. I know this is meant for me, to know that You are near, that You are singing to my heart. Your melody is found in the chimes of the wind as You turn the page of Your Word, speaking to my heart. You tell me You guard my steps by day and my sleep by night for You never slumber nor sleep. I find rest in knowing Your hand will guard me from the enemy. (Psalm 144:4,7) For You tell me that You are my Father, I am Your daughter. You are the Rock of my salvation. (Psalm 89:27) You fill me with Your mercy as I am poor and needy. (Psalm 109:22) You give me food for my soul as I marvel in Your wondrous works. For great are Your works, majestic and glorious. (Psalm 111:2-3) The trees sparkle like fluttering butterflies as they dance to Your harmony. The birds are so carefree as they spread their wings and are lifted to the Heavens. My mind is in awe as I watch the light of Your presence sweep across the grass like a lamp for my feet guiding my path. (Psalm 119:105) Your hand is my compass as it brushes the grass saying follow me. The wind is Your messenger guiding my journey, never fleeing and always patient. Your light is a cloak covering my soul. The clouds are Your chariot on the wings of the wind lifting my heart and my soul to a place of rest in Your presence. (Psalm 104:1-4)

As the pages were turning in my Bible and I was jotting down verses and taking in everything around me I noticed a few things. I observed, a bright colorful cardinal perched in a nearby tree, a beautiful coat of red contrasting the leaves of the tree. I heard songs of the birds as I listened attentively. I knew this song was for me to hear, to know God was near, present in the melody.

In the distance, I watch as the light and the shadows brushed the meadow. The winds moved the grass as if God’s hand was gliding over it. The light moved across the field followed by a shadow, as if the chariot of the clouds was traveling ‘on the wings of the wind.’ The view, the sounds and the verses I read all made sense. God was speaking to me through the wind. The Holy Spirit was turning the pages of the Bible and my eyes and ears were drawn to things surrounding me to let me know that this was meant for me to hear and to see, to feel God’s presence, to know He was with me always guiding and protecting me.

The last verses I read as I sat on that porch were:

“Teach us to count our days aright that we may gain wisdom of heart,” Psalm 90:12.
“Fill us at day break with Your mercy that all our days we may sing for joy,” Psalm 90:14.
“If only I had wings like a dove that I might fly away and find rest. Far away I would flee; I would stay in a desert. I would soon find a shelter from the raging wind and storm,” Psalm 55:7-9

My message to you my friends as I write this is that we never journey alone. God is with us in each moment, in the subtlety of life. Ask Him today to reveal Himself to you. Open your heart, mind, eyes and ears to receive Him. Perhaps in your path, you will see a cross on the sidewalk from the formation of pine needles or the warmth of air will brush your face in a moment of need. In these moments, He is letting you know He’s there.

Do you desire holiness?

Before writing these blogs, I try to seek God’s guidance because He knows this audience better than I do. He knows what that one person needs to read to grow closer to Him. In doing so, I pray about what to write and try to be in tune through out my day on anything God may be directing my focus towards. I do believe this technique is how we should each discern God’s will for us in all that we do.

Somedays I see, hear or feel nothing that God is placing before me to write about and other days like today I see connections that I know are not coincidences. This morning, I flipped a devotion on my desk to today’s date – about a week of flipping, because I do not look at it everyday. The devotion was about holiness. Stormie Omartian the author of The Power of a Praying Woman writes, “God has made a way for us to live in holiness. And He is able to keep us Holy. When our heart wants to live in purity and do the right thing, God will keep us from falling into sin. It is only by the grace of God that we can live in holiness, even after we have chosen to do so. That’s because God enables us to do what He asks us to do. But we still need to ask Him to do it.”

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When I read this, a conversation I had with a beautiful sister in Christ struck me. Just yesterday, I was in a “funk.” I was being the victim. I was needing to vent a little, share my heart a little – just needed a listening being. My friend, whom God has given a gift to nurture others, received my victim mode – for that I am grateful. In the midst of my rambling, I shared with her how I was praying and she made a comment of me being “holy.” I think I had a burst of laughter – thinking to myself, me holy? In fact, I responded, “not really, just found many years ago that my relationship with God is key to life.”

When I examine myself, my life, there is no way I can see myself as being holy. I strive to do what’s right. I feel I’m grounded in my relationship with God. Yet, I sin, I fall, I complain when things don’t align with me, and I’m selfish. My list goes on and on why I cannot achieve holiness. The slow learner that I am did not realize that my response stated two things my lack of belief in my ability to be holy and my relationship with God that is key to my holiness. I have heard and read that anyone can achieve sanctity and that is our primary goal as children of God so why do I not see myself as being holy or capable of holiness?

I think God has many lessons for us to learn. Those lessons involve His grace so that we can be open. And this is where my lesson on holiness began this morning. When I read this devotion, I realized that holiness is not a perfection. I’m going to falter. I’m going to fill the victim role at times but it’s God’s grace and my desire to receive it that grounds me in holiness, creating the role as victor in my life. It is ‘my relationship with God’ that brings holiness upon me, not my faults.

Friends, holiness is our strive to see, hear and follow God’s will for us. It is the grace He gives us to do what’s right. It is seeking Him in prayer and the Sacraments to receive this grace freely offered to us. It is in this grace that we receive all we need to align with His will, making it easier to avoid temptations of sin and be righteous. It is here that we are not the victim but the victor and arise to holiness.

Do you desire holiness? Do you embrace your relationship with God above all things? Are you open to hearing Him throughout your day so that your will aligns with His? My dear friends, I think this is our journey to holiness.

Journey through the desert

Take a journey with me. Let’s walk along a path that seems to have no foot steps in front of us. Perhaps there have never been any or perhaps they have been covered up by the sands.

There is nothing living among the path we walk, everything appears to lack life. As we walk, let’s look at the moments in our journey that did not bring life into us. Look at them closely. Is there anything you can learn from those moments that will breathe life in you today? Something present that will help you with a trial, tribulation or a feeling of unrest?

Walk along this desert floor and feel the heat of each of these moments. Feel the dryness of your faith. Do you thirst for God as you trodden this warm, sand filled land? Do you see a mirage of your Heavenly Father before you inviting you to sift through the sands of the desert in your life, to draw closer to Him by offering these feelings to Him, bringing life upon you? Or do you see a mirage of something that isn’t from God, tempting you to turn back and dwell in the journey behind you suffering death within, clouding your vision to move forward – to see God in the moments of hurt and pain? Which mirage will you turn to? Which one draws you near?

You continue to walk along this journey and notice above your head there appears to be a dove. He flys just in front of you. You have to glance upward to see him. You wonder what is a dove doing in the middle of the desert. Yet you feel an exuberant amount of peace. Could it be the dove’s presence? Can you feel his guidance along your path? Follow him. See where he takes you.

It looks like he is guiding you to a spring ahead? It appears to be a spring of life giving water. Is it another mirage tempting you? Or is it a spring from your Heavenly Father inviting you to dive in His love, accept the grace He has given you? Will you drink from it? Will you dive in? Or will you pass it by because your vision is cloudy and the reality of the spring has been covered up by your conscience?

adventure alone arid barren — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It is your choice to drink from the spring of life to come to the table and receive the Eucharist, the life giving body and blood of Christ. It is your choice to dive into the moments of desolation, the moments when God feels distant and search for His presence, His invitation. It is your choice to allow Him to bring life into your being or remain in the desert of death. Which choice will you make today? God will draw close to you in the desert filling you with a spring of life.

Doubt – discovering a deeper relationship

Doubt is but another element of faith. St Augustine

Have you ever considered doubting God or your faith a good thing? Has your doubt sparked a stronger relationship with God? Has God drawn you closer to Him by using this doubt as a catalyst to get your attention?

Doubt is a good source for deeper, more intimate prayer, a deeper, more intimate conversation with God which leads to a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him. Perhaps the moment where Jesus asks “why have you abandoned me” gives us a pathway to meet Him in a deeper level through His suffering. Although He did not doubt God’s plan, He bore “the same sufferings of our doubts” revealing God’s mercy. Often in the midst of our sufferings we doubt the most. We wonder where is God and why has He abandoned us. We may question His answers or His timing, or we may question His love and compassion. Doubt stirs up a search within us for the God we’ve read about, we’ve heard about and we know.

person holding compass in forest — Photo by Tobias Aeppli on Pexels.com

There was a time in my marriage when I had great doubt. I was growing in my faith and my relationship with God. My desire for God had gone from about fourth or fifth place to first. Yet there was one major issue that baffled me. My marriage had really begun to spin out of control. What I knew about the church’s teaching on marriage didn’t align with the struggle in my heart. My struggle had become a tug of war between my marriage and my relationship with God. I remember having a conversation with my father-in-law while picking blackberries. He told me that God wants our whole heart but I had chosen to be married and I couldn’t give God all of it. This really confused me. Although I could feel God’s presence and this deep desire for Him, I was uncertain of His plan in my marriage and in my life – the path He had placed me on. As a result of this doubt and confusion, I began to talk to God more intensely, seeking direction. What I discovered was a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him that led me to understanding His will and presence in my life. Through my doubt, I sought clarity and answers and found truth and peace.

Often when you doubt, you are generally out of your comfort zone. You begin to question reason and faith, resulting in questioning God. When you question God, you dig deeper for truth. When you seek truth, it leads you to God’s deep desire – a relationship with you that takes precedence over all things. My dear friends, when you doubt and begin to search, you open the doors for the Holy Spirit to enter. Once that happens, all things are clearer and your oneness with God’s will is ignited. This is truly your “faith in the fire of the Holy Spirit.”

pigeon and seagull flying above body of water — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When you doubt and question God, see it as a gift of discernment, a gift of seeking God deeper. It is in our questions that we are awakened and set on fire in our faith, and our relationship with God. It is in the journey for truth in our lives that He meets us and welcomes us with a love burning bright. Open your heart to doubt and let it bring you closer to your Heavenly Father as you seek Him beyond the depths of the sea.

How do you view God?

“He will shelter you with his pinions, and under his wings you may take refuge; his faithfulness is a protecting shield.” Psalm 91:4

How do you view God? Is He a loving and compassionate God? Or a tyrant with boundaries? Does He offer you safety and comfort or does He abandon you?

I think throughout our life our vision of God may change depending on the stage we are in, our particular season. It’s quite interesting because God is never changing. It’s difficult for our minds to grasp that because we relate God to our human relationships. These change, sometimes daily, and so we think God’s relationship with us also changes.

I’ve struggled a lot with how I see God. In my feeble mind, I often viewed God as a task master and if I didn’t follow the rules or the task, he would reign down a judgement of dissatisfaction.

My dad was very strict on me as a child. I was a Navy brat for some time. If I didn’t follow the rules, there were consequences. I also don’t recall being very close to my dad as a child. He was absent a lot in my life as I was growing up, some because of work and other times due to circumstances between him and my mom. As I grew into a young adult, my relationship with my dad was very strained, resulting in feelings of dissatisfaction and judgment in my relationship with my dad.

I share this because I think this has had a huge impact on who God was to me. People in our lives, especially our male relationships, tend to be our connection on how we envision God. If those relationships are not so good, we can have a very despairing vision of who God is for us. Today, my relationship with my dad is much better and my vision of God is morphing into a God of comfort and protection, a God who has all the best intentions for me because of His enormous love for me.

I find nature can teach us so much of who God is. Yesterday, as I was walking around the pond at work, I noticed 2 ducks. At first, I did not see the very tiny ducklings nearby. These ducklings were a short distance away from the adult ducks, assuming the parents. When they saw me nearby, they all waddled to the parents, hovering under and around. This painted a perfect picture of how God provides refuge to us as King David states in Psalm 91, “He will shelter you with His pinions and under His wings you may take refuge”. As I watched, my heart filled with completely peace and love because God had just revealed to me exactly how He protects me, provides me shelter and loves me each day of my life.

What have you seen lately that has revealed God’s protection, comfort, love and compassion? If you open your eyes and your heart, He will uncover who He is for you through everything around you. Pay attention to nature, you never know what He will show you.

Are you seeking spiritual freedom?

daylight forest glossy lake — Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

Have you been exploring your spiritual journey internally? Uncovering roots of the disorders in your external self?

When I began my spiritual journey, like most, I was seeking God to help me with things in my life that were on the surface, my external self. At the time, I didn’t see this as being an easy journey, very difficult in fact. As I continue to grow after scratching the surface of my life challenges, I am diving internally and uncovering the roots of the external feelings that seem to continue to circle me and feed sin and pain in my life. Walking my internal feelings, the ones I buried deep within that stir up the feelings externally, is ten times more challenging than dealing with the emotions and circumstance on the surface. I think that’s why there are psychologists and therapists.

To better understand your external and internal feelings envision an iceberg. If you are in an industry that focuses on safety, you are very familiar with the iceberg analogy. Above the surface there is a narrow triangle and all this is what you see externally and deal with daily. Below the surface lies the base of the iceberg, the internal emotions and feelings that no one can see not even you that are the base of all the things on the surface.

I think that these things externally that continue to show up in your life through confession or repeat offenders in every struggle you deal with in life is God inviting you to take a deeper look, to begin discerning the root of these disorders. For God to transform you completely through Christ within you, you have to look at the internal life and uncover the source of the sins and the pain on the surface.

Do you see patterns of sin in your life or patterns in the pain you feel or the struggles you deal with routinely? Name these disorders and ask God to help release you from them. Let Him help you unpack them and reveal the roots to you. Just like weeding your garden, you have to get to the root of the problem to fully remove it from the fruitful garden within you. You can’t just pull the top of the weed and expect it to be gone from your garden, you have to pull it from the root. The same is true with dealing with things on the surface in your life. If you don’t search internally and determine where the sin and pain are coming from, they will continue to surface in the things in your life and you will not have spiritual freedom.

These disorders come in many packages, wrapped with various layers from your life. They affect our relationships with others, ourselves and God.

Are you repeatedly saying things to a loved one out of jealousy that affects your relationship? If you peer within, you may uncover that throughout your childhood and adulthood that you are afraid of not being loved because you have always had to compete for love in key relationships.

Do you find yourself always afraid and passing up opportunities that you feel God is asking you to step out of your comfort zone and do? Look deep and you may realize that in your childhood, when you stepped out of your comfort zone, you were made fun of or rejected.

Do you find yourself confessing often your anger towards those you love? Search your inner core and you may discover feelings of hurt from emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child or an adult that you thought you dealt with on the surface but the residual of this anger, the roots are still dug within.

I have learned through my walk on my own spiritual journey that looking within, although challenging, uncovers things that are binding me to sin and pain. As I discover and begin to deal with the internal sources, I begin to reach a freedom, to unravel the chains binding me.

I sort of see it as God purifying me into a gem. Just like purifying gold, I am purified. He helps me to bring the impurities to the surface to learn from them and seek Him at a deeper level in removing the impurities from within so that my relationship with Him and myself is as pure as a precious metal.

Are you seeking spiritual freedom? Have you searched within to discover the internal disorders that are roots to those disorders that are external?

Take the challenge, search your internal being and discover what God is inviting you to pay attention to and learn from that has been tucked away in a little crevice within.

Is your life a game of Twister?

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands, turning your ear to wisdom, inclining your heart to understanding; Yes, if you call for intelligence, and to understanding raise your voice; If you seek her like silver, and like hidden treasures search her out, then will you understand the fear of the LORD; the knowledge of God you will find;” Proverbs 2:1-5

Ever feel like your life is like a game of Twister? It’s twisted in this direction and that direction – your mind on green and your feet crisscrossed on red and blue, while one hand is behind your back and the other moving forward? Do you most often feel like this when you are not looking to God for discernment and help?

It may seem easy to spin the arrow in life and land on a color and then another and before you know it, you find yourself in a mangle that leads to off balance and a tumble. On the opposing side, if you take a few minutes to pray asking for wisdom and understanding, you may just find that your mind, hands and feet are all in alignment.

Over the years, I’ve been learning a lot about discernment, trusting and conforming to God’s will through the wisdom of others more seasoned in their faith and through reading books that just seem to fall into my lap. It’s definitely been a slow process. I feel like I’m still in the elementary school of discernment, with a graduation date that is beyond my horizon and into eternity.

When I first began reading about discernment, I thought some giant NEON sign would just appear to me telling me what to do. WRONG! Now, I am beginning to realize that discernment has a lot to do with being present and observing things around me, the encounter of God through all things. As I move through this journey of discernment, I’ve begun to pay more attention.

Often the things I read speak directly to what God is wanting me to do or see in a particular situation. When I need to work on forgiveness and relationships, everything I seem to get my hand on talks about forgiveness and my own faults. When I am worried and full of anxieties, I pick up devotions or read random verses on peace, rest and God’s will.

I also see things around me that cause me to ponder and connect my circumstance and God’s guidance. When I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and feel I can’t carry it no longer, I notice an ant carrying something that is 20-100 times it’s weight and realize the strength of God carrying the weight on my shoulders. When I am troubled, I see a cross displayed before my eyes and I’m reminded of the peace and rest found in Christ.

When I am in tune to hearing God, listening to others, songs or peace around tend to guide me to think more and seek more understanding. Often when I am seeking wisdom and guidance, I hear lyrics to a song so much clearer. If I’m afraid, they tell me that “fear is a liar”. When I need strength I’m reminded that “I am a warrior”. When I need to trust, I hear “thy will be done”. When I am not including God I hear He “will always be the king of the world”.

Most recently, I was experiencing difficulties in my relationship with my daughter. I prayed for direction and also for God’s will in our relationship and in both our hearts. Each day, there was something subtle that popped up pointing me in the direction in which God wanted me to handle the situation with my daughter. I conformed to this and today I feel that we have repaired a part of our relationship I felt was breaking. Prior to asking God, I was spinning and the colors I was landing on were not coming out the way I had hoped. I found myself knotted like a strand of Christmas lights that had been in storage for a while. Not a place you want to be in a key relationship in your life. Something had to change, I had to seek guidance and let God spin for me and guide me in accordance with His will.

THE MOST VALUABLE LESSON I’m learning is that my self compass is not better than God’s. When I pray for His will to be done, I am not disappointed in the outcome. When I don’t, I find myself wondering where God is and when He will answer my prayers.

When you take time to pray, asking God to spin the spinner for you, you will be less tangled, less unstable by the mangle of spinning the arrow and listening to your own selfish guidance. Give it a shot and just may be your feet and your hands will line up and not be twisted this way and that way.